91.

 100 layers of sweat and farts

hey. can you believe it? the blog i blog, that no one reads, because i'm too embarrassed to show anyone - has almost 100 entries.

and YOU, stranger of the century, are probably just as turned on and lost as ever.

and you don't even now me.

so, here. here i am going to pretend that someone else is asking me questions.

really, it's just me. but you don't know that. cuz YOU don't even exist. unless.. you are reading this

1. First thing you wash in the shower? my butt. we call her Glory. i like to keep her clean, supa dupa clean. just in case she gets any face time.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? i don't have a favorite hoodie. but i have a hoodie. two. one is grey. not gray. the other is red. and plaid.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yeah. i'd kiss everyone all of them always every time.
4. Do you plan outfits? yeah, son. when i wake up - to my sleepy sun alarm clock. i lay in bed and cuddle myself. and think inside my brain "what could i wear today, that will trick young, hot boys into filling up my holes?" then i usually masturbate, smoke two joints and then get dressed. for work. in real life, when i don't have to work. i spend all day getting dressed in all the stuff that's too out of it to wear to work.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? hungover, sweaty and on fire. my mouth is on fire. from the flaming hot cheetos im eating. eating them so i DON'T get an ulcer. from the head pills i just took.
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? the aforementioned flaming hots
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having: last night. i dreamed that i had a dog. and it followed me around. and we chased each other, and played. i was also pregnant, and on BART. then a ghost dropped a paper clip on my bedroom floor.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? technically yes. i get paid to meet new people. but the people i have met so far today won't be new facebook friends. if'n you catch my drift.
9. What are you craving right now? cheeseburger. tater tots. pho. chicken tortilla soup. i'm hungry.
10. Do you floss daily? no. and that's why they call me funk mouth supreme.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? pabbage
12. Are you emotional? contrary to popular belief, i am. i just choose to not feel emotions that don't give me pleasure.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? who the fuck?
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? only assholes bite soft serve.
15. Do you like your hair? i love my hair. i think it's perfect. and here is why. it goes straight with limited strain. it's wild and curly and if treated properly, makes genuine ringlets. it's thick and coarse yet still shines. it's mine. that's all.
16. Do you like yourself? i do, i do. i am a bit much for even myself to handle sometimes. but generally, i think fun, AND substantial. a bit gross, yes.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? hell yes. ok. this is really bad but.. i know he's a fucked up guy and did fucked up shit. but you know what. dude likes to party. and i bet he knows all about that good ole texas bbq. uhm, and probably has the best blow in town.
18. What are you listening to right now? The Beatles - Don't Bother Me
19. Are your parents strict? i only have one, and no. she's not. and when the were two, he was. but.. you know. there has never been a time where anyone could tell me anything. i've had this place figured out since day one.
20. Would you go sky diving? i would go anything.
21. Do you like cottage cheese? love it.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? yes. i met Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, all of them. while i stomped on my balls.. i met rachel from sleepy sun a few weeks ago, and didn't puke. or fart. uhmm or die. i'm bff with the KQED fundraiser dude. holler. i'm a celebrity, and i meet myself quite often. Ju, Dan and Connor are my favorite celebrities. and i know charles darius. famous.
23. Do you rent movies often? used to. before i did stuff that's fun.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? hah. my tooth bling.
25. How many countries have you visited? one. mexico. i'd say two, but i'm not really visiting here.
26. Have you made a prank phone call? hah yeah. and now i have plans for tonight..
27. Ever been on a train? party train
28. Brown or white eggs? brown. always
29.Do you have a cell-phone? Death Trap Two Thousand and Ten
30. Do you use chap stick? no. stupid fucking question. this is getting boring for me. i 'm still hungry and my legs are sore. from stomping. i stomp when drinking. the next questions that sucks i'm going to fuck. in the butt.
31. Do you own a gun? two. a left gun, and a right gun.
32. Can you use chop sticks? barf puke stupid question. yes'n i can.. mister or ma'am.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? i don't know. i WAS going to go to The Booze and see birds fled from me and party with my favorite people. but instead, i'm going to move. see ya later Saint Leander. hello west oakland. so, tonight i'll probably be with my big easy crew in the east bay
34. Are you too forgiving? no good christian is ever too forgiving.
35. Ever been in love? 'are you solid? i've been in love four times"
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? hopefully getting laid, partying dancing, singing and kissing. me. every friend is my best friend. and my really real real can always count on always has my back homie ass bff, is my brain. she keeps me on my toes.. and knows and knows and knows..
37. Ever have cream puffs? i am a cream puff.
38. Last time you cried? last weekend. i cried when i left the warehouse i'm moving in to. i cried tears of joy.
39. What was the last question you asked? "why do you always have to bring Pete into it" that's me, asking myself why i always have to let Pete (Stinky Pete, my vajay) out all the time.
40. Favorite time of the year? ALL
41. Do you have any tattoos? mm hmm. a bee behind my ear. a heart with a D on the inside uh ma fing. giant roses from my coot to my pit. beaker on my arm. a heart in a secret spot. and roberto on my ass. i think that's it.
42. Are you sarcastic? like, permanently?
44. Ever walked into a wall? walls move the fuck outta the way when i stomp thru. so, no.
45. Favorite color? yellow. mellow yellow. officially my number one color as of 2007
46. Have you ever slapped someone? YES! ONE TIME I SLAPPED MY FRIEND JU ACROSS THE FACE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND THEN SHOT THE WINNING BEER PONG SHOT!! I AM LEGEND
47. Is your hair curly? big fat giant ass cork screws, straight shots and waves. holler.
48. What was the last CD you bought? actual physical cd - The Slider by T Rex. the last album i bought on iTunes was Goat Head Soup by the Stone.
49. Do looks matter? i would never gt away saying no.. since i'm talking to you on my blog.. fulla pictures of my butt ans face. i'm in love with looks. i like to be looked at and i like to look.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? yes. not saying i want to.. or look forward to some kinda mess like that. but i know that i could cheat. or at least, i can imagine that i would. i would want to be forgiven. i'm sure.
51. this question blows.
52. Do you like your life right now? i do. there are things going on right now that are bothering me. but i enjoy the discomfort. i'm missing some things. and some things that i have.. i wish would go away. but. i'm as wildly in love with being alive as i have ever been. producing originality and brutality with each step buwwakka.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? always, my apartment is haunted. and since it knows im leaving.. its being a dick. so i sleep with the tv on. so if anything weird is going on.. i can blame it on the tv. yeah, i'm insane. whatever.
54. Can you handle the truth? probably. but if it's nasty, just don't tell me. i don't want to know. if it's fluffy and sparkly. holler at me.
55. Do you have good vision? no. not at all. wouldn't say it's terrible. but it's not good.
58. The last person you held hands with? i didn't want to hold hands. i was forced into it. cuz i'm a pussy fagger.
59. What are you wearing? my hungover beanie, even though i'm not hungover. mt sweet little black and red dog sweater i got from Libra Vintage on ebay. high waisted black pants from AA. some sweet ass 80's white pumps.. and of course, my shit eating grin.
60.What is your favorite animal? zebra
61. Where was your profile picture taken at? hahahah irrelevant. the picture from my blogger profile was taken in my Ma's living room, in alaemda, Ca. my ex butt-friend took it. a few days after my first trip to burning man
62. Can you hula hoop? hips like mine where made for hoopin'
63. Do you have a job? yeah. i'm doing it right now. i am the official Front Desk Personality for Eleven Inc. we are an advertising agency in san francisco. i entertain the guests, and light psychedelic fires under my coworkers asses.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? a BART ticket, this morning for $8.20. the last thing i bought yesterday.. was a bloody mary at the race track. i had quite the boozey sunday afternoon.