429.

hahahah. this is my necklace. i got it in high school when i worked for All The More To Love. it was twenty bucks. solid. it came from a little old lady named marilyn. she lived in this KILLER fucking apartment right across the street from my high school. amazing? yeah. but she was a hoarder. the place was packed full of shit from the ceiling to the floor. she got sick once, and we went in and cleared a gang of shit out. the air quality was so fucked up she would have DIED. we saved her. ta da. she was hard, man. wrinkled beyond her years, hunched. she had a walker... and she was barely pushing 60. she wore large velvet hats COVERED in amazing jewelry. her fingers too. she was so bony and thin that she'd have to bandaid up her rings so they wouldn't fall off. she was a jazz head. she ran with musicians in her heyday. she loved tunes. i miss her. she was a kick in the pants, the knees of a bee. sharp and some shit. she's dead now. anyways. those are my boobs. i was pretty impressed that they looked like.. boobs. hah! you can't even see the necklace. fuck it. 

it's an eagle. suck it.

remember when i did this before? fuck yeah, you do. so? here it is. my rings. the little bow i got at atmtl as well. i got the job, SHOP GIRL job when i was 15. i got my friend becca hired there about a year later. by then i was already a salty old shop chick. anyways! we got these tray of silver rings in one day. we each bought each other one. i haven't taken mine off since. well. except for that 6 months where i thought i lost it. really? it was sitting on the bathroom sink. yeah man. i have six brains, none of them saw it. the other ring? the pretty lady. that's what i call her. The Pretty Lady. i got her at the laney college flea market just about two or three months ago. maybe. i really have no concept of time. at. all. could have been just last week.. except i know it wasn't.

thumb ring, you know. got this here TRAAAAAYO at the flea market in santa cruz. oh, those were the days. the fucking flea market KILLS. kills it dead. i was without this ring for a bit recently. this goon head hairy mother fucker yoinked it from me. GOT IT BACK, mack.

the unicorn. found her at laney too. three bucks, man. i could have haggled. but shit man. i was so stoked i just shelled out the three and dashed. then them gem. i love it to no end. erin gave it to me. she said she hated it. which makes sense. i love it = she hates it. it's gigantic and gets caught every time i put my hand in my pockets. FUCK POCKETS. gem. glam. GLAM. 

 i'm really going for it here. see that? my eye is so spooky on the left. RIGHT. i mean right. these are my nose holes. big deal? YEAH BIG FUCKING DEAL.

and now? here i am being a dick. 

moral of The Story? there is nothing NOT douchey about getting loaded on weed before work and taking thousands of photos of yourself. not a thing. that? 

and i watched the devil's advocate last night at my mama house. fuck yes. man... check it.

"Vanity is definitely my favorite sin. Self-love, the all-natural opiate." - The Devil. see that? fuck shit and suck bones brother fuckers. i dig it. just about everything he says is quotable. but hot damn, if that little diddy doesn't fit in nice and pretty here at Oh Shit.