oh shit

it's really hard to lose your party girl image ... when all you do is party. 

i do more than part.

party. 

really. i do a lot of things.

i eat. 

i literally just farted. 

most likely as a result of eating. 

i make stuff. ... like shit. and gasses. 

i have sex sometimes, which is really nice. and mostly pleasant.

i'm sort of drunk right now. chillin in a fart bath. wearing yesterday's clothes and last night's sweat. 

did dance moves all night with the queens. sang karaoke. embarrassed. jolene and fame. 

about 90% of the time i spend in public warrants an arrest. 

i'm not bragging. 

fuck me running, The Internet. 

yesterday the special girl in my office was a callin me The Diva in Black. 

do you ever think about your youth? i do. think about yours.

it's going to run out someday. someday... someday i'll finally wake up looking worse than the day before. and then what? what the fuck kind of skills do i have to catapult this old ass into the next twenty years. i write shitty. right shitty. i talk stupid. i can't dance, that's for g'dmaned sure. and this putrid charm i wear like a badge... will it still do the trick when my tits sag and my face drops?

i guess we'll see.

who wanna be my boyfriend?