419.

listen. i've got to tell you this secret. secrete. 

i'm not fashionable, like. AT ALL. i never shower. or brush my teeth. or my Rock n Roll hair. i wear the same thing, days in a row. i wear the same shoes everyday. always. my motorcycle boots that traded erin for. i never change my underwear. i spend a lot of time sleeping in garages, on couches, beds that are not my own. i dont wear perfume, i stink. i've got endless fucks, i give them all. i love ugly 70's gear. my dresses are always too tight, too short or long ASS fuck. 

my pants go up to my bra, but i never wear a bra.

why am i telling you this? becuase. i think you should know. they way people portray themselves on The Internet, it's a joke. i'm a joke. and i know. do YOU know? do they know. i wonder. so? long introduction to some pictures of me, this morning. this is what i look like in real life. when i come into work at the crack of dawn. with no makeup on. 

HAH! but even all these, i picked the ones it thought were the cutest. there IS something wrong with my eye. so squinty, so small. OH! and i have zits, you guys. i pop 'em. and i always forget to wax my stache. so i have little hairs on top of my lip all the time. what else makes me real...

i dont know. but here is all this. 
ok ok ok wait wait wait. when i'm on my period, i just bleed all over myself. i wear black pants, and just puddle. fuck it. tampons are gross. and? yes. there's more. i pick my nose like a crazy. always, two fings in the nose. i've got about one hundred pieces of metal in there. they get crusty. and i love crust.  i also masturbate before work and dont wash my hands. so my hands smell like my vagina, which smells like weed. and erin's vagina. hey erin, i wonder if our vaginas still smell the same.