the second question i am most commonly asked (close behind, "man jill, why are you such a bitch") is "are your teeth real?". i'll give you a moment to let that sink in.
yes, my teeth are real. what in the fuck? who has fake teeth? if i had fake teeth, why would i have janky ass, crooked ass kirsten dunst teeth? some people think it's cool to be a vampire.... and while i think i probably just am one.. i don't think vampires are cool. sucking blood is hot, and pale skin is in... turning into a bat on command wouldn't be too bad either. but hey, let's get real for a minute. why would anyone want to be a vampire? you never get to die. you have to sleep all day while your friends with a pulse are sucking each others dicks down at the beach. you'd never be able to check your ass out in a mirror. and GARLIC. hello.
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