393.

 this is erin's new house mate. he plays the banjo. he's good too. and also.. very strange. he makes me nervous. yeah, me nervous. i'm really uncomfortable when he is around... ISN'T that weird? this is where out night started. erin's living room, with peach champagne. then? log and leah came over. we drabbed and went to eli's.

 i keep my pubes smashed, in the back of a truck. where yo YOU keep yours?

we were all broke. so we paid in silver change. the bartender wouldn't take our pennies. asshole. 

so? the night. what to say about last night... my idea of sober? champagne,  tecate, jameson, pbr, jameson, molly. i know. fuck. whatever. 

walking around town with a wet face. no fucks nowhere. beat and broken in west oakland.

story of my life. and? i fell in love with a lady.we tongued. she is going to tattoo me on thursday. i wonder what it's like to do it with a girl. like, do DO not threesome do. i wonder if i can DO it. i mean, i give hand jobs now. anything is possible.

so? here i sit in baggy clothes. with heart burn and a boner. cuz now? i'm old. 

bowie practice tonight. thanks to your gods i didn't go through my "bowie performance" phase in high school. dude, why do they call it high school?

390.

so? who's sucking who's dick today? i love valentines day.. i love everything. you know. erin and i are going to tear the world the fuck up tonight. i love her. truly. i know you know. YOU, whoever you are. HI MA! we are going to dress up, i'm going to sleaze.. and then? i've got about five bucks to spend. and i'm spending it on her. my special lady. my hearts and farts are bubbling. overloaded. SHIT'S EXPLODED. i'm on a teeter-totter. one side is  my desire to get completely fucked and drown in drugs and alcohol. the other side? my dreams of being a rockstar. i know which side i want my ass to fall on. but god damn i'm having a hard time. Sober Sister. needs a babysitter. serious? nope. never that. i still go what i am. i just need to... focus. it's time to pay attention, finally. i'm high ass fuck on life. and it feels great... i feel fine. 

HERE'S MY NUMBER AND A DIME, CALL ME ANYTIME.

sometime soon. i'll have some exciting things to say and show you. hey, what's not exciting about struggling with sobriety and throat bruises? you tell me.

385.

We get crazy. Go wasted.

 looks like he's a textin' but he was really just a sleepin'

parked it on... saturday. yes. satttaday. fun city. i doodled bowie while we played with dogs. chris always looks like jim morrison to me. shit goes. im tired. you want me to do one of those things where i tell you all the gruesome details of my shit kicking week/weekend? i feel like i'm talking to a wall. 

and anyways, why? why do i gotta spill guts all the time. 

i may have literally drunk myself retarded this weekend. 

384.

i just puked

it is way too late in the day for me to still be hungover

 i've crawled into work pretty haggard, but today definitely topped the cake.
i started this post on friday. it's monday, today. right now. and i still haven't made it home yet. i think where i was going with this post... ohhh god. yeah. i was gonna show you all, you lovely people! how shitty i looked, then how gorgeous. cuz on my lunch break i went to The Store and got a dress and fixed my hair. but i didn't take any photos of The After. who cares anyway? i'm so sick of myself. 
let's beat me up and go crazy.

380.

things are happening. 

my blood is back to flowing, boner back to growing. last night? 

not a fashion show. but, hey? going out is going out and gettin' seen is what it's all about.

 

last night... mmm hmmm. i saw nev, which never happens. he is so hot. talk about a dream boy. 

bowie practice was just about a BLAST. time of my life. greatest greatness. next week, AGAIN plus a wednesday night back up singer's practice. i love erin. last night i said, "this is it now, i'm going to be a rockstar" and she said, "finally, it's about time". DADDY, I WANT TO SING.

boys? oh the boys. i've been uppin' my creep. i'll spill, all at once. but not THIS once.

rhyme time, brother fucks. i go crazy, you know. i do things i wouldn't even do.

for now, have this and a mouth fulla my love.

378.

a night of Dib

 happy birthings rana and mona

we go crazy, collectively.

long night,saturday. want to know all about it? sure you do, why the fuck else would you be here... you Internet, you. i popped over to The City on saturday night. hit up my mama margot's dinner party. ATE bacon covered shrimp. drank delicious boozey lemonade. THEN, i left. i went to deliruim. my baby factory. to make a call, to the dibs to get the address to their party. shit my dick, no one answered their phones. 
i had nowhere else to go, and i knew someone would call me back. so? it's not the first time i've soloed in a bar... well, i didn't even get a chance. you know the OTHER bartender i love? maybe you do. he walked right up to me and said hey, how YOU doin? we shot the shit, he took me to kilowat... gross. but beggers cannot be choosers now can they? fernet down the hatch, a few fishing pictures later and i cut. i finally found out where i was going. DEEP. i arrive at the party, too full, not drunk. up the nose and down the hatch... back in action. long story short (too late) i ended the night schoolin' fools in the ways of rock. j dahhling, the loner extraordinaire. i blasted bowie, held a speaker up to each ear and sang my little rotten heart out. forever and always, too crazy for my damn self.

377.

last night they loved you, opening doors and pulling some strings...

nye two thousand and eleven 

your tricks with the shower head was kind a cute, i bet you keep your pussy clean.

high on vaseline. just kidding. no, really. we went out with that white girl. you know her. at a certain point, i stop being friendly with the camera. i can't take that shit all night. i start doing beautiful things.. like this. we had a blast, yes. i know waaay down there i told you i'd get ya the whole story. 
but why? do you REALLY want to know?

here it is. met up at New House, my house, drank and blew. off to The City. the mission. went to a party. walked for one hundred years. got invited by some children to a house party. went. tore it the fuck up.  instantly took over the whole damn thing. FUCK YOUR ITUNES. queen blasting, champagne pouring. count down? yeah, count down. fizz fizz sizzle. off to some bars. no. not inside. outside the bars. kicked it for days on the corner. then got all fancy mayne, and pooped into a real bar. lines in the photo booth.... lines on her face. then? back to the party. THEN back to the little easy. to berkley. karaoke city. spice girls and shit. blah blah blah off to bed with julia and emily. cold city. THEN, yeah then. i went to a god damned wedding reception, with half my head on. 

that's it. that is all. 

goodbye forever,

mad maxine

362.

i'm so gay for my best friend, i have a boner of love just thinking about it. she is an It.

we're in love. of course we are, look at us. lovergirls. so? erin works for buffalo exchange now. pish posh. they set up a lovely little get together at a sushi house in the mission. we came with a giant bottle of cranberry and vodka. it fell out of erin's purse and crashed and spilled all over the floor the second we went to sit down. FAMOUS. we ate some food, we drank two bottles of sake, talked to some chick while she used her ass as a face... then everyone went out to mint for KARAOKE. 

we did.

we sang bohemian rhapsody. sang the shit out of it. till it was shitless. we went crazy, duh. and did great, of course. i should have put my heels back on for our performance. OH WELL.  slippers on stage. then we left. went home. 

We Come. We Fuck Shit Up. 

We Leave.

361.

one time, i woke up and hated everyone i've ever known... except erin and tori. no, serious. i fucking hate them all still. shit my dick mother fucks. i was already drunk when i arrived... on beer.. but mostly rage. we drabbed a fifth of smirnoff in thirty minutes, then walked to radio. tori called a friend who brought a friend of mine from san diego... make sense? he lives in the bay now.. that was cute. then.. we drank a bit. maybe a lot. then left. there was a misunderstanding over something i said to erin a long time ago. i meant i was ideal - LIKE NAZI IDEAL. and that is not how i said it, or how it was taken and i pissed them off they pissed me of SO I STOMPED. stomped the mother fuckin yard. stomped all the way to erin's. then stomped all the way home. i punched bushes and kicked trees and yelled and carried on.. for  a very. long. time. i put on quite a show and was really embarrassed walking around our neighborhoods the next day. also really embarrassed to find out that i do, indeed Go Crazy. mm hmm. and then tori got hit by a van. lost her phone and her bike got stolen. we had fun. have too much fun.

358.

me and erin got drabbed. well.. i was already drabbed. THAT'S WHEN I WAS TOO DRUNK TO RIDE MY BIKE. i was drinkin FOUR LOKO. wasted wasted wasted. then we went to this grimey bar. and ERIN GUESS WHAT. it's like one block form my new house... i don't even know why im posting these. i burned my nose trying to get high and erin's hair stuck straight out. drabkin.

354.

me and my gals

 errrrrrrrrrn is wearing makeup from a photo shoot. isn't she lovely?

 that's not a gal. that's sean. so?

this is great picture of erin and i. me, being a loooosah and erin watching.. making that face. BA HAH. this is at our friend's show. it was fun, i guess. it turned into an awful bloody shit hole of a night for me. but hey? who fucks a giving a fuck? no one. that's who. ok, im back. i can say more about this night. shit, why not? i rode my bike too drunk to ride for the first time.. oh wait. no, never mind. that happened later. this is a few weeks ago already.yeha, i guess that's all i'll say. ok.

340.

i took erin on a date last night. dinner.. then supposed to be a movie.. then 60's night. i fall asleep the second the lights turn off.. so we skipped the movie. and just drabkined. PETER came, so did zewng. then they left. my foot is dead. so i couldn't dance, AGAIN. but who cares. little Z was there. all cute and shit.. i'm in love with another bartender now. alert the  media. and that's it. off to the x ray machine tomorrow.. and eating a burrito with dan the man tonight. wish me luck.. strangers. and my mom. and peter. (the people who read this thing) OH YEAH AND ERIN.

329.

last night i went to erin's house to watch moooovies on tape with her secret admirer. we did. he had never seen a bunch of john waters so we watched some. it was great! i had so much fun. i hardly ever get to see her anymore becuase PUNX SUX. we watched tapes.. and chris came home. and we sat next to each other and it was cute, i love him. then he tried to kiss me on the mouth and i screamed. hahahaha. do you ever feel like you enjoy life too much? there is just NO WAY anyone has as much fun being alive as i do.  so, blah blah. drank 100 gallons of sake. then i rode my bike home with my headphones on blast. i rode so slow. slow enough to listen to death on two legs twice. i did. and i sang as loud as i could. the whole time. i was one of those crazies you hear outside your window while you are trying to sleep. fuck your sleep. well, i have no pictures. shit has been pretty boring over here.. OH SHIT. sorry? do you even care? ok. so? here are some photos of me. at work. damn. im so excited about that hair. it smells soooo good. OH YEAH AND IM  GOING TO THE MOTHER FUCKING WORLD SERIES TONIGHT GONNA SEE MOTHER FUCKING STEVE PERRY. and i just talked to a photographer who is shooting for ESPN, i gave him my exact location on a post it note and he is going to take my photo at the game. im spray painting my head. suck a dick everyone!!!!!!

this is me and a pup. he belongs to kat. the hair girl.

 this is me. in black and white. with my hairs out. and my glasses on. that is a fax machine. and behind the plastic wall sits one of my hundred bosses. he can see thru the wall, but he says he doesn't. which is good, becuase i do things like this...

hahahahaha my coworker just emailed me this... 

"You half-bald self-righteous cunt rag. Isn't there a DJ you should be trying
to impress somewhere?"

... hahahahahahah!! i'm so in love. 

boring, sorry. just beat off to these pictures.. and i'll be back with SOME DOPE SHIT later.