334.

want to see something delicious?

ok. i fell on my bike last week riding over some train tracks. it was really gross. i taped some tissue to it and didn't get a chance to wash it till much later... so? it got gross. and fast. i fell in some really really dirty west oakland dirt. so, sunday. i hung with my Ma. and my boo-boo was killing me. and oozing orange goop. it had also been gooping yellow goop too... my sweet little knee was living goop city. so? my mama  helped me fix her up. .. and take gross pictures.

 my yummy little bandage was stuck all up in my flesh wound.

 this is a picture of my tree trunks. 

look at how swollen it is. my other knee was hurt too.

and this is it. the boo boo. day one.

i took so many pictures of it.. what is wrong with me?

SO! what the deal was, is this. a disgusting film of filth grew over the big red hole. it was green. like a loogies you get when your shit if fucked up. i poured some hydrogen peroxide on it, and it fizzed like a belly full a pop rocks and coke. fucking sick. so i peeled it off. fuck the green I NEED IT CLEAN. it was terrifying and disgusting. want to see?

yum. hoped you enjoyed that. one of you out there has got to have a boner for soggy, puke green scabs. this stupid ouchie hurts like a bitch. like a big fat bitch with sharp teeth who hates me and has clamped down on some nerves and wont let the fuck go. on the plus, i covered it in blood on saturday and it looked really gross. i was the grossest thing anywhere.

328.

i got haired today. a friend a mine, a beautiful friend a mine got her hairs cut last week. i asked her to save me some of the hair AND SHE DID. how fucking great is that? hahahahah im ecstatic about it. i've smelled it. tasted it. pet it. rubbed it on myself. i love it. 

im going to make it wearable this weekend.

301.

299.

hardly strictly bluesgrass. we went. it was freezing. we were butt sweaty hot in oakland and icy nipple cold in the city. fuck. we saw bonnie prince something or other with kevin and john. then we met up with the great, peter fyfe. and sway danced and ate burritos. greatness. then! we went back to kevin's house. and i got to sleep in someone's room who was out of town. and i left tiny creepy little notes in tiny creepy little places for him to find later... PROOF.

i taped sicko to the bottom of The Bed Lotion, and pervert on the table underneath it.

stop starring at me, behind the mirror.

ya blew it! and if you leave me, ill kill myself

there were more, but i got bored of snapping photos.

i cant wait till he comes home and finds them.. or EVEN BETTER! if his girlfriend finds them... i mean, i'll never know about it. but a girl can dream, cant she?

295.

my oldest friend. and i dont mean like, she's 50. texted me these today. i guess they are notes.. or year book signings. BA HAAAH. (bitch) (shit), told you i am a charming delightful girl. always have been, and always be.

ME. you cant see too well, but in the last one my head is shaved. in the front. on the left side. i shaved it. becuase? fucking because im a nut, dude. im crazy as hell and nothing has changed.

thanks charleen, this is the best!
did any of you creepers catch that? i fyou were lookin here a second ago you woulda seen my REAL name. 
it's rumple stiltbutts.

291.

oh yeah. i forgot, and just now remembered that i'm going to save my menstruation. gonna save it up in something then use it. as paint? decorations... frosting? we'll see. i'm pretty excited about it. i can't wait for my monthly visitor. one time, i boned this dude who ate my period. it was so hot. and metal. he had this picture near his bed of jesus with the eyes blacked out and 666 on his forehead. we were fucking, after drinking for about 12 hours straight. we were gonna make a baby. he said we'd make a good one, and we woulda. i'm crazy as all hell and thought it was a great idea. it woulda been. we'da been ma and pa and lived in the hot heat and drank PEEEEBS and been vegetarians. hahahaaha. anyways. i was on the rag, he pulled my tampon out with his teeth then slurped up all the leavings. yeah. i know. hot, right? his fingers got all bloody and he licked them clean. tastes tasty. so, we tried to make a baby, in puddle of my blood. it didnt work. we did it again.. only once more i think. i didnt get knocked up and i'm glad. i'm saving myself for the bartender at delirium.
i want to fuck him on the toilet and get pregnant. 

$TAY CLA$$Y MOTHER FUCKER$

oh yeah. i 'm remembering again. he had this like, medicine pouch that he wore around his neck. he kept like, a scab in it and shit like that. i had my nipples pierced for a hundred years. i took one out at gave him the stud and he put it in his neck sack. i wonder if it's still there. i wonder if he can still taste my lady hood.

261.

 i started this blog, after burning man. last year. 

long long time ago. many things have changed since then..

i did it. cuz my brains dont turn off. 

and i cant sit here all day and do nothing. 

so, that's that. 

i decided to call it Oh Shit on a whim. WHhhhhhHHim. 

new favorite word.

i figured i'd call it Oh Shit and just change it later

when i had a better idea.

a better idea never came. 

oh shit. 

so, i went to make my blog. 

and some shit dick had already claimed my UUUUUURRRL

here. this is them. wasting space.

dumb. 

hey, you. have a blog. tell us amazing things.

show us your face.

i love seeing faces. that's why i show you mine. 

where is the future?

what was your idea?????????????????

234.

god bless EVERYONE

 the most fun i've ever had being alive

found it here DO IT here

230.

last night i 

made out with a gay

got kicked out of a cab

had an altercation with a shoeless homeless woman

broke my kee

AND LOST MY iPHONE

overall - best night ever. i saw the straight ups play, and as usual they were amazing.

i hooked them up with rough waters and they did a little show together.

and not one of those fucking dicks bought me a drink.

boys are so stupid. and they got paid for the gig too. 

anyways. it was just about the messiest mess of a night i've had in my entire life. 

im so in love with the people i love.

dan, ju, connor, erin, mikel, henry, jesse, breadsley -- all of them.

everyone is so insane and so entertaining. 

and oh gods do i love to drink. i mean shit. 

i love it. 

so, i'm probably not going to --- hahahah just kidding!

i'd never quit anything ever.
I NEVER QUIT!

HEY! and no one got naked. no bush. wait. i showed my bush.

but that doesn't count. i was just showing of the pubes. 

but it should be noted. 

not a titty was seen last night. write that down.

225.

corridor40

good shit. my ass is throwing up and more sunburned than not. 

looks like im wearin white panties.. bitch dont wear no pants

poor Roberto. he uhh sufferin

 that's my ass. it was hard to capture the beauty of my burned ass booty

oh.. and then. we fucked up. after bat manning all over the roofs of my warehouse.. we went into the burning man lot and had ourselves a time.. 

a climbin and what not. then.. the finger. it went gone.

.. poor Omar. we went to the ER and i got to watch the Dr pump his gore up with pain killers yuuummmmm

BIG DADDY JOHN

BIG DADDY JOHN

well, i was a searchin on The Internets fer some long johns with a butt flap.. 

for hours. and i FINALLY came across something worthwhile. oh god. this is good. 

get ready... for Big Daddy John

you can head on downt o his ranch and get boy training, watch his home made boot fuckin' dvd's and purchase used union suits - complete with "plenty on man stains"

oh god. too mush. i die.

i probably need one of those warnings now.

HE'S NUTTING ON A BOOT!

you;ve got to check this out, it is unreal. 

thank you, The Internet. i had lost faith in you. but it has been restored.

YOU HAVE TO SEE IT