378.

a night of Dib

 happy birthings rana and mona

we go crazy, collectively.

long night,saturday. want to know all about it? sure you do, why the fuck else would you be here... you Internet, you. i popped over to The City on saturday night. hit up my mama margot's dinner party. ATE bacon covered shrimp. drank delicious boozey lemonade. THEN, i left. i went to deliruim. my baby factory. to make a call, to the dibs to get the address to their party. shit my dick, no one answered their phones. 
i had nowhere else to go, and i knew someone would call me back. so? it's not the first time i've soloed in a bar... well, i didn't even get a chance. you know the OTHER bartender i love? maybe you do. he walked right up to me and said hey, how YOU doin? we shot the shit, he took me to kilowat... gross. but beggers cannot be choosers now can they? fernet down the hatch, a few fishing pictures later and i cut. i finally found out where i was going. DEEP. i arrive at the party, too full, not drunk. up the nose and down the hatch... back in action. long story short (too late) i ended the night schoolin' fools in the ways of rock. j dahhling, the loner extraordinaire. i blasted bowie, held a speaker up to each ear and sang my little rotten heart out. forever and always, too crazy for my damn self.

377.

last night they loved you, opening doors and pulling some strings...

nye two thousand and eleven 

your tricks with the shower head was kind a cute, i bet you keep your pussy clean.

high on vaseline. just kidding. no, really. we went out with that white girl. you know her. at a certain point, i stop being friendly with the camera. i can't take that shit all night. i start doing beautiful things.. like this. we had a blast, yes. i know waaay down there i told you i'd get ya the whole story. 
but why? do you REALLY want to know?

here it is. met up at New House, my house, drank and blew. off to The City. the mission. went to a party. walked for one hundred years. got invited by some children to a house party. went. tore it the fuck up.  instantly took over the whole damn thing. FUCK YOUR ITUNES. queen blasting, champagne pouring. count down? yeah, count down. fizz fizz sizzle. off to some bars. no. not inside. outside the bars. kicked it for days on the corner. then got all fancy mayne, and pooped into a real bar. lines in the photo booth.... lines on her face. then? back to the party. THEN back to the little easy. to berkley. karaoke city. spice girls and shit. blah blah blah off to bed with julia and emily. cold city. THEN, yeah then. i went to a god damned wedding reception, with half my head on. 

that's it. that is all. 

goodbye forever,

mad maxine

373.

file this under 

BALLS STOMPED

 glorious. AreOne.

stomped them so hard, they're gone. i've lost my balls.... so. i'm not going to go into every single gnarly detail of this past weekend. i.. just can't. what i can say is this. i called this look above The Disco Creep. aud and i are one person now, well. we are working on it. but from now one you can go ahead and address us as AreOne. i got some awesome records.. met an awesome boy and killed myself on sass. so? that's that. for now. when my balls grow back i can tell you all about SASS and the loverboy. and whatever the fuck else i feel like. goodbye forever, jillian dahhling.

here is a douchey shot of my makeup. 

i looked so damn good before i got high ass fuck.

ok, really. goodbye forever.

244.

ElectroPi

that happened too. it was a great party. no for serious. 

even if it wasn't mine, i'da loved it.

some dope ass DJ's played. my favorite, SMASHLEY.

she fucking killed it. killed it in it's gurpin' ass face.

the BEST boys in the whole world came over and paint up my walls. 
i love them the most. and hopefully 
if it wasnt a shroom induced dream, joey's gonna paint my room!

   keepin it creepy. FOR LIFE AND AFTER.

 dig my belt? i do. you idiot, you'd better too.

i woke up at 8am saturday. so fucking fucked up. bad bad news. it's a rare rare occasion that i am too hungover. i was. believe it. i passed back out and woke up at 12. moved two (or three?) giant fucking domes all by myself. cleared out, cleaned up, moved around and set up a party all on my lonesome. well, i wasn't lonely. but i was alone. people who were suppoesed to come over didnt show. no one showed up when they said they would.. and at 9pm when the party started. we were just starting to dump ice into buckets for beer AND STILL HAD NO CHASER. rough fucking start. 

but after all that and after all the hot babes and buff dudes showed up. shit went up down and around and blew the fuck off.

a bunch of my coworkers showed up, which i LOVED. it was great to see them! i got tagged up, drunked up, broke a fight up and loved up. 

i love to party.

if'n you came.. i love you too.  

gross. my landlord says if i have another party like that we are evicted.
the bitch.
so, i hope you made it to ElectroPi!! 

243.

Castles

oh, i went i did. but i couldnt tell you a damn thing about the actual show.

i can tell you all about the bathroom stalls and head banging tho.

oh. so. there you have it. i got fucked up on molly. molly black out.

fun fun fun

i look so crazy and so weird sometimes. like realllllly.

dude. what is it? my clear eyebrows? shit.

i think im gonna be hella blonde again.. i look too weird

LUUUUUUUUUUULLZ

DIE ANTWOORD

Die Antwoord at The Rickshaw Stop

blew my dick off

went to the DIE ANTWOORD how on friday night. alone. 

because my friends are losers, or i am a friendless loser. either way, it was insane.

doors opened at 9, i got there at 8:30 and found out they would play at 11:45.. 

shit my dick.

so i cut and got a pint of jameson and proceeded to bush drink on a stoop.

party city. two dudes pooped up with two cases of PBR each. so we shared.. drinks and stories. then i started yelling at strangers.. decided that meant i was drunk enough and went to the show. because i am scary, out of control and the most amazing thing that ever lived... i had more fun than anyone in the world ever forever and always. as i was loner drinking with two loner dudes i found, i glanced behind me and saw a man unfolding tin foil. you know what that means... i stuck my hand out and received a beautiful surprise...i enjoyed it.. and proceeded to stomp on my balls. the second they came on stage i moshed my ass front and center. threw my hands up in the air and thrashed and got thrashed like never have before.

it was the most fun i have had.

they were absolutely insane. fucking perfect. fucking on. fucking in.

every song was perfect,  Ninja. insane. little Yolandi is the tiniest thing i've ever seen. i couldn't see her over peoples heads.. and i was right up front. her voice sounds like that in real life too.. and im pretty sure they kissed on stage.. meeow.

the brutal short of it is i had more fun than i've ever fucking had - and they were the best show BY FAR that i have ever fucking seen.

this video is perfect - so rocky and shaky. i brought my camera only to find it was dead. fuck shit. i wouldn't have been able to use it anyways. my head was in my brain and shit was too crazy to hold onto anything. i touched ninja's head. 

now, i shall die.. goodbye

85.

lately?

wearing: AA dress, vintage boots, vintage belt, fox tail from ebay, tights from ebay.
nothings new. or exciting. or cool. i'm getting fatter. which is nice.. for all the chubby chasers.
these pictures are from.. sometime. recently. we went to a show.. a dub step show. this is my dub step crew.
oh! an-ten-nae. that's what it was. year of the tiger party.
fun city.
the last time i went to a dub step show, so jack ass came up to me and said "hey, you're really shitty at dancing"
and i said "oh yeah, fuck off" and then HE said "it's really cool that you keep dancing even tho you look ridiculous.. blah blah blah." and I said "oh yeah? suck toes, dick." and kept on dancing.. this time! someone thought my moves were so groovy the took photos of me while dancing. different folks different strokes, i guess.
this weekend i saw sound tribe sector 9 at the fox theater in oakland
it was cool.
then i went out. out to boof town usa.
drugs are bad, mm'kay!

74.

 i'm on my way to becoming a person of substance..

.. abuse.

electric whomp. whomped me. went out with girls and boys. danced with girls and boys. danced of the floor. danced on my balls. danced from the palm of my hand to my mouth to my brain... frrrttttssssszzzzza.
nothing more to say.

went to a birthday party. you know when you go out with a group of hots chicks - and you are ugly man out.
that was me. last chick in the row. ugliest chick and a hoe. it was fun fun fun. laura blood's birthday. i was still recovering from the whomp. but i still managed to have a fantastic time.

there are no pictures from the rest of the weekend.
good.
went to the race track - dollar beer day. didn't bet, didn't win.
drink.drank.drunk
i think i might just turn into a beer.. and then drink myself.